In my wild adventures across the world, i have come across a new music sensation! Two young boys with amazing talent and showmanship. These boys are new to the music biz but have taken it by the throat and said "Jump Jump". They are also trendsetters for what will likely become the new way we dress!

KRISS KROSS will make you JUMP! JUMP! and make you wear your clothes backwards for an unbeknownst but strangely appealing reason! I have never seen such style and pizazz in a rap duo. I am surprised these boys didnt make the big time sooner!

This phenomenon had to be investigated further. They are just TOO hip and with it. So being the super slueth i am... i dug up some major dirt on these boys. Believe it or not, Michael Jackson is behind this. He has been preserving young men to stay in their pre-adolecent stage forever! Kriss and Kross are actually 36 years old and have been rapping in Jackson's basement for the past 28 years! Jackson of course realized the profitability in these boys and thus released them to the public in September 2008 when they released their first single Jump Jump (in the video above).

I am apalled that Michael Jackson could keep this fantastic duo for this long. Holding good rappers away from the deserving public is cruel and it sickens me to think that this has been happening! Keeping these boys for personal benefits is one thing, but denying me from a hip hopping beat, thats just wrong!

I implore you all to write Mr. Jackson a strongly worded letter and demand more hippity hoppity sounds! Don't let this monster keep da beats to himself! Send all letters to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it   for approval :D

-Londo