Victory through Unity
Tuesday, 01 September 2009 07:55 | 
Author: flyntt_sharpstone | 
I've been forced to rethink the landscape of the world after the zombie apocalypse. In considering our world's readiness to combat a massive zombie infestation I have theorized a possible silver lining to the clouds that darken our future.
I have theorized that in order for us to survive the zombie apocalypse in the best way possible, the human race will need a strong governing body. After reviewing several possible candidates I've finally come up with the perfect candidate, MICROSOFT.
It's true that there are many companies that could fill the void the collapse of our economy and government will suffer due to the zombie apocalypse, but Microsoft has shown an exceptional amount of composure when it comes to dealing with crisis.
Let's get to the Meat and potatoes of this argument. I have determined the five steps Microsoft will need to take to assume the position of defender of humanity. I am sure that each of you could also come up with a company you favor to win the race for this coveted positions. Feel free to post your views in the comments.
Stage 1.
First, Microsoft controls A large amount of communication equipment. To be more efficient in the post apocalypse period they will need to expand their offering to include more hand held communication devices. That's why their first step should be to purchase At&t along with its contracts with apple to continue to offer the I phone. This strategic move should be as publicized as possible as this move will lead to a lot of upset college students and artists, whom we've found are the primary victims in the great vegan scheme. Once these beet nicks are enraged they will throw off the bonds of their body weakening veganism and become proper members of a zombie fighting society.
Stage 2.
Microsoft, in secret opens a contract with Northrup Grumman to supply all their weapons grade tech. of course this would also require microsoft to purchase intel to offer a greater range of hardware. With the control of the worlds arms in the hands of Microsoft we will all be to sleep a little better at night.
Stage 3.
Microsoft should then begin dumping games onto their x boxes that simulate the zombie apocalypse. As Londo has pointed out a great degree of skill and survival know how can be gleaned from playing such games. As an aside Microsoft may want to reverse engineer a Wii and incorporate that tech into their next x-box design so that their simulators will be more effective.
Stage 4.
now that Microsoft has control of a great deal of automotive tech as well as entertainment devices and home computing products they need to begin issue subliminal messages through all channels they have available. The messages they send should encourage us to organize and to fight. These messages should also instill a desire to follow Microsoft's every command without question because none of us wants a "one off" running around messing things up by not following the grand plan
Stage 5.
If Microsoft has a bit of sense they will immediately hire the Grizz to head their new "world zombie security initiative". As you all know south central Idaho is the only place predicted to out last the ZA but if Microsoft can spread the influence of the Grizz to near omniscience we may all have a chance to survive.
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