part 1 of the Action 52 game review. I will play the games in order, 1-52 and do my best to give each game a legitimate attempt at playing it. I will make sure to at least put in as much effort into playing as the Devs did for the coding.

1. Firebreathers

I heard how horrible the games are on this cart, and this one did not seem that bad. It’s a two player dragon driving game, were you drive around a dragon and try to kill your buddy. The screen flickers pretty bad, but this something I would have played with brother Tom for at least an hour back in the day. The controls are a nightmare, but it’s a simple little mini game.

Star Evil

Sounds cool, I like Stars, I like Evil. I hit start and I died. And I died again. I have died twice and only played the game 5 seconds. Third life I manage to dodge the wall that is in front of my 'spaceship' now I can shoot bars as fast as I can mash the button. The same 4 notes of 'music' are repeating over and over. I died for the last time, I am not trying this one again.

Illuminator

Wow, the graphics are horrible. You play a guy with a death ray flash light that melts zombies. Ohh Carp, the lights went out and my flashlight is not working. I wait for the lights to turn on and get eaten by a zombie. I have another guy so I will try again, this life I discover that the light comes on when you fry a zombie. I make it to the top of the level and nothing happens.

G-Force Fighters

Wait, I am in space. G-forces in space are equal to like, zero. Ohh well. So my pink ship scrolls to the right and nothing much happens. Some random shapes fly at me. Its been less then 5 minutes and I have had my fill of this game. My the retro review was a stupid idea.

Ooze

Hey the first title screen. I am some fat kid in a maze for some reason. A ooze maze. My fat kid can not jump to the side. Only up with zero air control. I fall into a pit and die. On my second guy I mange to jump on platform and die. This seems impossible to win.

Silver sword

Hey a zelda game! This could be fun. I mean, if you take some good and make it bad, it's still kinda good. You play a little guy that shoots swords. I quickly find out that, you only go up. Its just like Star Evil, but you walk instead of fly. Ahh crap a robot crab ate me. This really sucks. The infernal music, the screen flickering, the mind numbing sound. And I notice that when I shoot my sword down, it still points up. If I shot left, it points right. They did not even take the time to flip the graphic. This just shows that Active Enterprises hates the world.

Critical Bypass.

What the hell is this? The graphics hurt my head and noise hurts my head. A circle moves left to right. I died I think. No more of this. Wait. I need to at least play all my guys. I have to be fair here, and not give up. The map is two colors. Black and white. Its rough and painful to see. My god the game in searing my brain. I quickly die and am glad for it. NO NO NO I have a third man… when does the hurting stop…

Jupiter Scope

The background is a little easier on the eyes now. Flaming space bacon is falling from the sky, past the city background. There is no penalty to miss them, or any real reason to shoot them at all. I am need a snack so I will just move my Space Ship off to the side, and cook a mini pizza. I put the pizza in the oven and return to the same screen. Oops, I end the game early. Might a well move on.

Alfredo

Wow, This game is a black screen. Not even past the first column of games in the menu have a game that does not work. This game is much better then Critical Bypass, but Firebreathers is still super happy number one on the list.

Operation Moon

Hey another instant death game. This time you are in some lopsided moon tank with two entire frames on animation. My pizza is ready. Totinos pizzas are great, but why do they say to put it right on the over rack? It always makes a huge mess! It is hard to tell if running into stuff will kill you, since your bullets go right through everything.