Real Historee

Real Historee

What is the GCW

Sunday, 21 June 2009 18:03 |

Author: StevO P. Hemingway |

Throughout much of documented history, a secret organization has been pulling strings behind historical events. More secret than The Illuminati, more prestigious then the Skull and Bones club, and much more fashionable then the Free Masons.

The GCW or The Grand Council of Women is a secret society run entirely by women. Card carrying members are found in every possible location. Their missions is a simple one. To protect the world from the mistakes of men. While noble as this maybe, it is not without fault.

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Hot chicks here!

The Lincoln Papers - #1

Wednesday, 10 June 2009 10:27 |

Author: Austin Of Locksley |

If you've read the "About The J-F Project!" piece, then you'll know that The Justice Files are essentially a composition of Top Secret files uncovered by our J-FP spy crew. Often we get asked if we know anything about Abraham Lincoln and the answer to that question is a loud "YES". Of course, that answer also depends on who you are and who you work for. If you work for a shady organization trying to keep secrets from the world, the answer is a loud "Oh well, probably not. No. Most definitely not".

Because we want to bring the truth to the world, we're eager to present to you the first of many pieces we have about Abraham Lincoln. We calls these, The Lincoln Papers...

Excerpts from our pieces about the famous U.S. President.

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See what you didn't know about Honest Abe.

Reasons Why Skynet is Stupid

Thursday, 21 May 2009 10:25 |

Author: StevO P. Hemingway |

3 Reasons Why Skynet is Stupid.

Today is the opening of Terminator: Salvation and we at the JFP are filled with silly glee! So this week I will treat you, dear reader to a review of the Xbox 360 version of the game, and a briefing on why Skynet is doing a horrible job at destroying humanity.

Today is about Skynet.

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Special Report!

Wednesday, 29 April 2009 08:29 |

Author: ShortStack |

This Just in! The robots are starting to revolt. The proof is here.

A Swedish robot nearly killed a dude but won't be prosecuted or locked up!

The Local, a Swedish new site says that the near-fatal "incident" took place at a factory north of Stockholm.

A worker Dude was about to fix a broken rock-lifting robot. He'd shut the power off, but Skynet kicked in and the machine suddenly woke up and grabbed the man by the noggin and broking four ribs. The guy was close to being crushed.

They decided not to prosecute either the company that owned the factory or its robot, giving it a free pass.

• Click here to read the full report in The Local.

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Click to read more of Shortstack's rant on the robot uprising

Truth Be Told

Friday, 30 January 2009 15:23 |

Author: StevO P. Hemingway |

Dear readers,
Now, You may have noticed, this article here I want you to know, that I dont like KrissKross. And I do not wear a snuggie, that photo was clearly doctored. I wear a much better, Slanket!
Now what do I do when I am hidden in my delicious warmth that is the slanket? I watch my favorite show. Pokemon. Yes dear readers. I maybe the olders J-files staffer and 35 years of age, but I am also the more handsome and most awesome. My dear co-writer Austin made a special apperance in a pokemon show! You can view it here.

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Now let me tell you why I do not like live pokemon. Pikachu is clearly out of scale. It is common knowledge that Pikachu is 1 foot 4 inches tall. That would mean that Ash would have to be around 1 foot 8 inches tall. We all know he around 4 feet tall.
Now that you know my dark secret, do you want to know Austins? If you dare, click here. Yes that is him, third from the left.

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